Dr. Nick and the Army of the Five Monkeys

I haven’t posted in over a year. Not that haven’t had opinions to write about, I just developed some bad writing habits. The problem was mainly that i started writing every blog like a thesis. I have a draft of a blog on my computer that was longer than my thesis introduction. I got tired of it so i quit. Recently, I have been looking for a creative outlet and I like writing as a creative outlet and mental exercise. I am back for now.

I think my last post was last July. A recap of the last 14 months would be seriosuly ridiculous. Part of me would find it funny to write it just so that I could picture someone reading it then realizing that it is several thousand words long and giving up after a couple paragraphs. But I wont do that.

Instead, I will use cliched lines and quotes to describe July 2006 to July 2007:

"It was the best of times, It was the worst of times"

"Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours." Mark Twain

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely
improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future,
without fear." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive." John Sladek

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time" Friedrich Nietzsche

Movin’ on Down or The Month of July in Retrospect (Chronologically Reversed)

Part 1: Unleas[h]ed! Unlike George and Wheezy, who were movin’ on up, I will be movin’ down……downtown……

Cincinnati

and shedding the last remnant of my interdependent relationship with my shredded social circle. I signed that lease and it was bittersweet. I am now contractually bound to stay in

Cincinnati

for 12 months a.k.a 1 year. Living on your own is supposed to be a kind of freedom and I found it ironic that freedom requires an iron-clad lease. Despite signing the lease, its not that I particularly wanted to stay in

Cincinnati

but more so that I wasn’t "ready" to leave. I simply could not pull the trigger. The idea of being "ready" was suggested by Zach, who berated and verbally abused me trying to get me to leave. Yet, there is something here, in

Cincinnati

, that I am not willing to let go of, or leave behind, just yet. Who knows what the hell it could be (I’ve torched enough bridges) because I sure don’t. But I am getting closer. Zach and Steve, you guys have no idea how close of a call it was.

Part 2: july.29.06 Wedding #2: My cousin Jeff’s wedding was last weekend in

Forest City

,

North Carolina

. 7 hours, one-way in a car with no air-conditioning. It was still a beautiful drive. Besides, I have heard that some cultures believe that journeys and traveling work to purify the soul; the longer and more arduous the journey, the more pure the soul. I drove a car 14 hours so I am not claiming any hardship, all I am saying is that 14 hours of solitude and heat managed to leave me with a better perspective on my existence than when I started. The wedding and reception were great and my cousin has some great friends. The other thing that was brought to my attention was that I was now the last “unattached” grandchild (there is 6 of us and 5 are of “marrying” age) of my grandparents. I was talking to my brother and his wife and I was telling them that I thought it would be incredible to get married in a building that I designed. Without wasting a second, Amber (my brother’s wife) produced a very pointed, brilliant, and architecturally enlightened quip at my expense that went something like: “At the rate you are going you better make sure to get the wheel chair ramps in there.”

Part 3: july.22.06 Wedding #1: My brother’s wedding. My younger brother’s wedding. Wedding #2 was a full Catholic Church style wedding. For Wedding #1 My brother and his wife went the outdoor route and found an incredible place to have it, Benhams’ Grove in

Dayton

. The gazebo and the flowers, everything was great. Somehow, in the midst of the hottest week in July they picked the one day that it barely crept over 80. It was sunny, then it rained for 5 minutes precisely during the "i do’s" and then the sun came back out. I haven’t lost a brother but gained a sister, an older sister that busts my chops about my love-life (see part 2). I could write a lot about how sentimental it was standing under a gazebo on a perfect summer day watching my brother get married but I’ll skip it.

Part 4: july.16.06 Celebrating my birthday a week late: went to

Dayton

so my parents could remind me how old I was. We got together late because my actual birthday was superseded by a much more important celebration which will be covered in part 5.

Part 5: july.8.06 Bachelor Part #2 or Big Al’s Big Weekend: My brother’s best man decided to take him to

Windsor

,

Canada

for a night to celebrate the end of his bachelor hood. I have nothing but good things to say about

Windsor

; and I will say very good things about the ladies at the Million Dollar Saloon. The only bad thing about windsor was going thru Detroit to get there(Sorry Stowe!) I have known my brother my whole life and we were not always the closest of brothers. Mostly because when we were younger when if we got too close I would grab him and sit on his head and fart. Later, when he moved to

Columbus

we became a lot better friends. I thought it was surreal sitting at a table with my brother, surrounded by friends and strippers pounding a round of shots. I had hung out with my brother in the past but this is the first time I saw him truly drunk. The next day I watched him truly hungover leaning out the window of the rental cal at 60 mph just letting it all go. That’s a weekend that you don’t forget. Oh, my birthday was Sunday and I was so hungover that I forgot my own birthday till about noon.

Part 6: july.6.06 Friends from

California

: I went to

Dayton

to see Jake and his wife and son. Jake and I went to high school together and you could not ask for a better friend. I got to go out to dinner at Elsa’s Mexican Restaurant with Jake and his family and our good friend Dan. Elsa’s is one of those places embedded in the myth of our youth. Jake and Dan both worked there in highschool and it was the source of many stories and underage drinking! It was fitting that we had dinner there. I definitely don’t see Jake often enough. And his son is getting big so fast!

Part 7 july.2.06 Bachelor Party #1 or Sun burnt: My first trip to

Charleston

North Carolina

resulted in sunburn worthy of being called a burn. Now this bachelor party was for Greg a.k.a El Grego. This was a bachelor vacation more than a single evening of partying. There was drinking, and barbequing, and baseball, and jet skiing. And we were at the beach everyday. And that’s where we got sun burnt. One night there was so much(too much) drinking that we had to call Anna when the bar closed. As great as it was to see my brother drunk it was even equally impressive to see Greg with more than a few drinks in him. Greg is “nuanced” even when drunk! Steve was really drunk too which is unusual. While drunk Steve also decided to relate some information to me that I had not previously been privy to which I found disturbing. Steve had a killer hangover the next day. He definitely defiled a sand dune with the contents of his stomach. Greg will be the second of my good friends to get married. It is beginning…Maybe because I had such a good time there,

Charleston

went right to the top of my “Places to Move To if I Ever Get Out of

Cincinnati

” list.

Conclusion: This blog is meant purely to update the world in the going-on’s of myself. There are deeper issues, implications and undercurrents in these events and it would be best to save them for another article.

Opening Narration from "Trainspotting"

"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that?…….I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you’ve got heroin?"

Intro:I read Kevin’s Blog about "Office Space" and it forced me to ponder, a little bit harder, the question "are we defined by what we do?". This question has been rolling around in my mind since I read the blog……it takes awhile for me to process things. The question was even more timely because, as a few of you know, I recently resigned from Michael Mcinturf Architects and am now gainfully emplyed at a firm that is the antithesis of MMa. I felt (and still do somewhat) that I had sold out myself and the things that I believe in, as far as architecture goes.

Part 1: Am I am architect because I design a building? when I get registered? or am I an architect because I call myself an architect…..like Art Vandalay:) is it a choice? I did choose to start becoming an architect. It would appear that we are simply completely self-determinant and are correctly and completely defined and confined by what we choose to do.

Part 2: But I do not believe that we define ourselves by what we do, or inversely, that we are defined by what we do. What I do believe is that who we are is revealed not in "what we do" but in "the way" or "manner" in which we do something. Observe the way a person performs a task and you should learn so much more about that person than simply what they are doing. Who we are is wholly subconscious, submerged, and it is not able to be chosen as simply as "I am….". This subconsciousness actively seeks expression and it manifests in ways that we have no control over.

Part 3: We all know people who try to be something that they are not. And it is obvious to everyone but them. Everybody does this in their own ways. Hmmm…. why did I really buy that black suit??? I know why…..I want to define myself as an architect…a good architect…and everyone knows that good architects wear black suits…..just a small example on a personal level. I dont really want to wear a black suit. I have allowed my perception of what an architect should loook like(since I have consciously chosen to be an architect i should act look and dress like one) to dictate waking life events.

Part 4:(I am sure i have lost anyone that was remotely interested awhile ago)…….I tried to define myself an as architect by where I worked and what I did. And this wasnt true. I am not an architect. And I wont be, even when I get I registered and stamp a drawing.

in the meantime:

Closing Narration: "Trainspotting"

"So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I’m a bad person, but that’s going to change, I’m going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I’m cleaning up and I’m moving on, going straight and choosing life. I’m looking forward to it already. I’m going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die."

Well, it is fairly obvious both from my own experience and from the blogs of my friends that we are all experiencing some kind of post-graduate, postraumatic stress disorder like a bunch of junkies trying quit that heroin cold turkey. Its not pretty, if anyone needs a mental picture think "trainspotting".

I had to contemplate for awhile on what actually happened over the last 8 years of school. I rarely even consider the last 6 years as "school" anymore. When I think about that time I recall memories and images of the studio most frequently. I equate the idea of school/college with the studio experience. While I still havent figured out what happened during college, I think I figured out a few things while contemplating that question that actually might actually keep the threads of my thoughts coherent in this blog and actually work toward bringing this post to a resolution.

Studio fused one of our primary socialization spaces to our primary work space for alot of us. Now, I dont think that simply getting people into the same space for extended periods is enough to create a meaningful bond. There has to be a catalyst and in studio our socialization was centered around our work (atleast in the earlier years.) We had lots projects that required a collaborative effort and we all had to work on the same program. I think that it was the process of executing a project that catalyzed the studio socialization. People, what we need is a project.

In other news tonight, patrons of america’s favorite pastime are feeling the pinch as the price per barrel of animal by products skyrocketed to new highs on wall street this week. Leading Some experts to say that the era of cheap animal by-products is over. The result is that the price of an average ball park "hot dog", refined directly from the crude animal by-product, has risen to over 8 dollars per dog. One disgruntled fan was overheard saying "Holy shit, I thought there was something wrong with my eyes. Jesus, they have to be fucking joking". In Washington top policy makers were pointing fingers at each other trying to blame the current administrations lack of action. The administrations experts blame O.H.E.C., The Organization of Hotdog Exporting Countries for cutting back by-product production to 3.5 billion barrels a day. Weiner vonWursten, spokesmen for O.H.E.C issued a public statement defending the organizations production reduction. "The cut back is due mostly to a slowdown in the discovery of new sources for animal byproducts. The rising popularity in third world countries of animal byproducts is creating a greater demand while the supply is shrinking." Japan appears to be greatest offender. After thoroughly embracing the game of baseball they have vigorously embraced the consumption of hotdog and hotdog-like products. They have become such prolific consumer of hot dogs that even the world hotdog eating champion, Takeru Kobayshi, hails from Japan. Market analysts theorize that on a competition weekend the cost of hotdogs rises 10% based on the volume hot dogs that this one man consumes. They call it the "Kobayshi Effect."

Currently there is no end in sight to the high hotdog prices. The senate has launched a price gouging probe into the issue. President Bush has been in classified  trade talks with Americas top animal byproducts suppliers such as Russia, Venezuela, Canada, and Saudi Arabia. In the meantime the President is supporting research into alternative sources of byproduct including bio-byproduct(veggie-dogs) and the Red-Pepper Plan (80% pure byproduct, 20% feline, kinda like ethanol!!!)

Zach,

I apologize. I am a bastard. But I am a bastard that loves you. Remember that.

Sincerely sorry,

-Nick

If i learned anything in school its that you have to play to your own strengths. Somethimes victory can come from turning a perceived weakness into a strength. I was thinking about this as I was discussing the other day how it might be possible to end the war in iraq. It occured to me that we would not really care about Iraq if there wasnt any oil. The solution to the problem that i am proposing is to make the oil disappear . The most direct path it seems would be to consume every ounce of oil on this planet. Sounds like blasphemy, right? Think about this: Oil serves no known purpose in maintaining the balance of our world’s ecosystem. If there was no oil left would the ecosystem notice?(footnote: this argument can be attributed to j.cromwell) I am betting on no.  It is widely known that Americans excel at the consumption of resources. While the rest of the world may perceive this as a fatal wekaness it could potentially be one our most potent weapons. If we manage to consume the worlds oil reserves then the flow of money will dry up. Despotic fundamentalist regimes will be crippled. It will be fantastic. Forget hybrids and electric cars. Buy an SUV! every suburban soccer mom will be issued a Hummer with their first child and Detroit will finally be able to focus on horse-power instead of miles per gallon. Hey, its just an idea. Besides, it would not be the first time we spent our enemies to death.(cold war anyone?)

for Barry Bonds steriods are the fifth and sixth major food groups. Major League Baseball’s single season home run record holder eats more pills than a 16 year old at a rave; has been injected with foreign substances more times than all the characters in "trainspotting" and "requiem for a dream" combined…..and Pete Rose will never be in the Hall of Fame. This year Barry Bonds is poised to become the all time home-run leader, surpassing Hank Aaron’s 755 career homeruns. A career like Bonds, substance abuse aside, should be a Hall of Fame career. You can be a lush, a bigot, and a womanizer and you still might find yourself in Cooperstown. There is only one rule that has ever been truly sacred in baseball: never cheat the game. Cheat at cards, cheat on your wife; Cooperstown does not care, but no matter what vices you succumb to, never cheat at the game. How will history, but more importantly Cooperstown, judge the accomplishments of Barry Bonds? As The Hall casts its judgements on the worthiness of a player, we will judging the Hall itself and what it means to have your name enshrined there.

(to all: this entry references an article that I have uploaded as 4 jpegs into a photo album titled "Crappy Article" )

Zach,

thanks…..that was dumb. I wasted 10 minutes reading that, well not quite 10 (I had to open and rotate each page individually in order to read it). I am so pissed at this moment that I read that. If that was supposed to be a critique of Frank Gehry in the "urban context" it failed. I critiqued why Frank Gehry doesn’t work so well in the "urban context" in my senior thesis with legitimate evidence and examples and diagrams footnoted with a bibliography. The author didn’t even say what was ACTUALLY wrong with Gehry’s buildings or give an example. How/Why exactly do they not fit in? How are they hurting the urban environment? I missed that part apparently. Is he saying its because Gehry has a different aesthetic? Because that’s what it sounds like and that is a weak argument. The Bottom line: THIS ARTICLE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ARCHITECTURE OF FRANK GEHRY. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. (Why can’t a Gehry building work in the city????) At its core it is an article about urban planning and financial issues with an architect as the scapegoat for everything that is wrong with the city. The author’s argues that a city doesn’t need stylish one-off buildings(Gehry’s or otherwise) to revitalize itself. It needs viable well-planned neighborhoods. I get it. duh. Cities need to make sure that their neighborhoods are in working order before they build million dollar buildings. But wait, here’s a real mind bender: Lets say that The Guggenheim Corporation wants to build a new 2 billion dollar Gehry building. Those are PRIVATE funds. In real life there is no true obligation to invest in the PUBLIC neighborhood holding that project back. Maybe if they were goodfellas they would put something small toward the public good, but we’ll assume that they aren’t and they don’t. Because they never are. Where is the responsibility for the viability of the building in the urban context? The private developer? the architect ? The city? Is it right to force private companies to invest in public infrastructure? is it right to invest public funds in the private sector? These questions are at the core of a never ending debate. But when a certain unnamed city decides to spend millions in public dollars and build things like…ohhhh lets say…….a poorly planned stadium near a certain river instead of putting that stadium in a position to "revitalize" a neighborhood at least its pretty easy to figure out responsibility for that one.

"When neighborhoods work, tourists will be drawn to experience these small miracles of urban life. They will spend their money in local shops rather than at souvenir stands or museum gift shops."(this quote was like sand in my crotch because it is ridiculously naive)  Would you visit New York, not just any New York, but a Bizarro New York w/o the Empire State Building or ANY recognizable landmark that we currently know? Would you, zach, fly across the country spend hundreds maybe thousands of dollars on tickets hotels etc. just to go to Little Italy, a viable neighborhood? A city needs to have its "bling" to get people to notice it. Something "shiny" even.

Zach, this article was more about opinion than proof. There is a saying about opinions and anuses, everyones got them and they always stink. I honestly believe that you could write a better article than this.

Yours truly,

Nick

p.s. You wanted a blog dedicated to you. Here it is. 

y? yes indeed the "Y". I went to the "Y" as part of my new years resolution to work out a bit. Now I know why they vall it the "Y". As in "Y do people do this to themselves???" Let me detail a little bit of my "fitness" history. What many people do not realize is that there was a time when i actually was in relatively decent shape. I could bench press just a little more than I weighed. For a kid that was 6′1" and 145+/- lbs that was decent accomplishment. I knew after 8 years of college/beer/desk jockeying that resulted in an additional 40 lbs. that I was going to be in trouble today. I knew I was going to have to be serious about it. The first thing that I did was buy a flashy pair of new warm-up pants. I loaded up a set of high energy tracks on my ipod and I thought I was ready. I walked into the fitness room and stepped right up to the elliptical machine. 5 minutes later I paused to catch my breath. 5 minutes after that I decided to take a break. It was devastating to say the least. But I wasnt completely discouraged. I got back in there and got on the bicycle and went for a "ride". I stuck out the bike for a full 20 minutes. Apparently, I burned about 130 calories. That was day 1 at the "Y". I’ll be keeping a tally of days I go.

Also, I downloaded AIM Triton. Its next-gen IM, its kind of weird but it is interesting. My screen name on Triton is Yarrkinetic.

Steve, trust me, it had nothing to do with you. Its hard to get comfortable on ancient, cruddy beer soaked couches with people that you really dont know that well constantly passing thru. There is a certain "mine-ness" that Kevin talked about as pre-requisite to getting comfortable in a space. Nothing at the Blue House was "mine" per say. Steve, dont worry, I am comfortable with you; if you were a couch I would pass out on you in the middle of the anyday. But you’re not. But if you were, what I said is ok and not weird in any way because couches are neither male nor female. So lets not make assumptions or accusations. I am sure there are lots of couches named Steve that are very comfortable.